How To Identify A Bully And Face One

My friend’s daughter came home last week looking slightly sad. By night time, she complained of a headache and announced that she did not want to go to school the next day. She did not go to school the next day and the next. Finally, my friend, her father, asked her if there was something that had happened in school and if anyone had told her anything. His daughter broke into tears and said that there was this boy in class who had taken to teasing her. My friend’s daughter is a skinny child and the boy had repeatedly told her that he would punch her and break all her bones. My friend spoke to his daughter’s teacher. The teacher then spoke to the boy who stopped teasing my friend’s daughter.

When I first heard this story, just for a second I laughed at the silliness of the threat. But my next thought was about how I would feel if I had been in the little girl’s place. For children, their entire world consists of their home, school and probably, the park with their families, teachers and classmates in it. Teasing of this nature by a classmate is a very big thing in this tiny world of theirs.

Children take to bullying because of numerous reasons. Going back to my friend’s daughter’s story, it turns out that the boy didn’t really mean to break her bones or frighten the girl. He just thought he was being funny. Sometimes, like in this case, it might not occur to the bully that they are being one. At other times, the bully could be facing their own set of problems and bullying could be their way of feeling powerful. Whatever the cause of it might be, bullying should be taken seriously as it can have a lasting negative impact on the victim’s self-confidence and sense of security and, if left unchecked, severe cases of bullying could lead to tragedies.

Children need to be encouraged to speak about their experiences in school. Parents need to create a safe environment for children to discuss matters such as bullying with them. Parents also need to keep a lookout for any warning signs of bullying such as children being anxious or withdrawn, acting differently or not eating well. Children should be instructed to speak to an adult such as a parent or teacher if they are being harassed or someone they know is being harassed.

Also read: Importance of counselling for a child

Some other things that parents can instruct their children to do when faced with bullying are to avoid being alone with the bully, not reacting to the bully, walking away from the bully and ignoring them. Parents should also encourage children who have faced bullying to spend more time with their friends and people who have a positive influence on them.

An important thing to remember is that no one is born a bully and that bullying happens for different reasons and to different degrees. Parents need to teach their children how to face bullies and how to not let the bullying take over their lives. And, through it all the most important thing parents can do it to ensure that their children know that they believe in them and that they are always there for them.

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